The Way I Choose To Birth Does Matter

We all have ideas of what our birth will look like… or we have an image of a dream birth. We have expectations and this is how they often play out.

1. We share our dream and have an amazing team, wicked support and informed choices to help us achieve that dream. We walk into parenthood feeling powerful and strong. 
2. We share our dream, get shot down by our insurance, our doctor, our partner or misinformation and we transition into parenthood doubtful, worried and don’t trust ourselves as mothers
3. We have a dream, we don’t share it because we are afraid of getting shot down by those in #2 and we don’t even try. We have our baby, disappointed and upset (and maybe traumatized) at the way our birth went… not because it was a ‘bad’ experience, but because our voice wasn’t even heard by the world. We went with the flow handing all our power to the care providers, fear, lack of knowledge and worry.

What happens when we sacrifice what we want? When we make up that we should do it another way because our partner doesn’t understand? That our insurance won’t let us go to that place? That our doctor does not ‘allow’ us to do certain things? We hand over our power instead of communicating, sharing our desires and really finding out what is true for OURSELVES.

Each dream birth is going to be different for each individual. And this is NOT about getting it right! And this is NOT about having a totally natural vaginal birth. It’s about using our voices in the face of fear. It’s about trusting ourselves as strong mothers who instinctively know what is right for ourselves and our babies. It’s about asking QUESTIONS to get clear on what is right for you. Its about doing all of this and knowing that you and your baby are safe.

Who wants to transition into motherhood with feelings of upset, doubt and an unsatisfactory birth for the sake of someone else or fear?

This is the ONLY time in your life you are going to birth this baby. Why not commit to a birth that you feel powerful in?! A healthy and happy mother is what the family deserves!

If you want to plan a powerful birth schedule a call. No matter where you are in the world, you and your birth do matter <3 https://goo.gl/5ZF3YZ

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What Does a Doula Do?

Well there are so many talents, past, and education behind every Doula that their passions and knowledge are so diverse.  So I am going to tell you what THIS Doula Does.

I work for you.  You are my boss.  You may know what you want me to do for you, or maybe I could surprise you with what tricks I have up my sleeve (or really in my Doula bag) I am committed to the possibilities you set for yourself,   so let me give you a bit of insight to what I can bring to your pregnancy and birthing time.

I start as soon as I am hired I can help you explore and discuss many ideas.

Before Birth
I will...

before and after birth

~discuss what care provider is best for the pregnancy and birth you want.
~Discuss the benefits of a planned home birth, along with risks, misconceptions and outcomes
~be a resource to help keep you comfortable for your pregnancy and birth by finding (alternative) care providers that believe in a healthy body, mind and spirit.
~contribute my knowledge about birth and challenge your ideas too
~tell you to trust your intuition
~encourage you to ask questions, to me, to your care provider, to your friends, to your partner, to yourself
~promote nutritional foods and help you find a way to eat well
~facilitate conversations of keeping sons intact
~research for/with you to help you to make the most informed decision to clarify conflicting information you may receive
~facilitate difficult conversations, be it fear, your desires, and concerns.
~encourage partners to participate in decision making and share ideas of their ideal birth
~promote great communication between you and your care provider(s) so that you know your desires and concerns are heard

During Your Birthing Time
I will...

~translate suggestions and terms from your care provider into language that can be clearly understood by you.
~include and empower your partner to be the best support person for you
~use breathing techniques, visualizations, massage, as comfort to you
~make suggestions on poses and positions for well-being and make suggestions for sleep and rest( yes, you can sleep during your birthing time!)
~assist with older sibling at the birth
~Promote that your partner is the best support person for you
~believe in you and your body to birth your baby
~be hands on and put myself into positions so that you are most comfortable.
~encourage you to stay at home as long as you are comfortable (if planning a hospital birth)
~reassure you and express normality in a homebirth or hospital birth setting
~ask questions to your care provider(s) so that you can gain insight to recommendations

After Birth
I will...

~help to ensure your views and wishes are respected
~explain in real time procedures that are being carried out on baby while they are happening
~believe in breastfeeding
~promote rest
~teach you skills that will allow the rest to happen be it your 1st or 4th child.
~help to instill confidence in your intuition (this starts way before birth)
~offer to clean, cook, entertain your children, talk, nurture and share my knowledge of early days at home
~support you in asking and receiving help from friends, family and neighbours.

What does a Doula Do? Michelle Tyliakos

These are many of the most important things I do as a Doula… but I know there are just so many to list.  I truly believe that it’s my job to promote great communication and connection with you, your baby and all those that support you.  I believe that communicating in depth during the prenatal visits we can remove any feelings or fear surrounding birth, allowing for a smoother ride into parenthood. If after birth something didn't go the way you expected, we will work though the challenges, feelings and fear and set you up for the best possible success.    Please take a look at my packages, or contact me to ask me questions.  I would love to share my work with you.  If you know anyone who could benefit from a Doula, Please share this post. 

With Love..
Michelle Tyliakos

Hiring a Doula Early For The Unexpected

Although no family wants to think about what could go wrong in pregnancy, it is a situation that some of us have faced, and the news can hit hard like a freight train. It is something we are not prepared for. You could be going through a miscarriage, you could have been told your baby is going to die shortly after birth.  You may have been told you child has genetic conditions that are not sustainable with life.  You may have been told your baby no longer has a heartbeat.   There are so many scenarios that can lead us to need quick immediate support that isn’t close to our due date.  

Having a woman with you through this time of grief may contribute to your whole experience. It's not something that we want to acknowledge, but reaching out immediately to your support person or Doula will be a shoulder that is a rock in the time of grief.  Having a Doula that knows what may happen, questions to ask and procedures that may need explaining will help you and your partner get clear communication in a time where nothing seems clear

If you are considering hiring a Doula, hiring one early could be beneficial for many reasons. (many have their own library, phone call support, will go to appointments with you etc)  Here are a few questions that could be beneficial to asking on your phone call with a Doula.

How will you support me if my pregnancy were to end early?
How would you support me if this was an expected death of my baby?
How would you support me if after I have given birth or miscarried?
I have lost a baby in my previous pregnancy, how will you be here for me this time?

Miscarriage

I want you to know that many Doulas will support you through these times.  And hiring a Doula early will ensure that you have that support in place should something happen.  She will be the one you call when you have received the bad news, or you discover on your own that your baby is not going to make it.  Should you find yourself in this position,  reach out to your doula and take a brief look at my services.  

Much love 

 

Fitness and Pregnancy

I've done it all.  You know.  I have had the 'fat' pregnancy. The workout like a mad woman pregnancy.  The how is 9 months over pregnancy. And the stop what you are doing and rest pregnancy. 

How do you know which one you are going to have? (along with the many other types of pregnancies there are)  The thing is you don't know until you are in it, or over it for that matter.    Fears of gaining weight, hurting our baby,  or loosing who we are can affect everything we do during those 9 months.   

Here are a few suggestion

Take an assessment of where you are physically right in this moment, and what got you here.    Do you have regular physical activity?   Do you eat well?  Do you get enough water?  Were you on a road to health but have lost your 'umph'?   Were you ever on a road to health? (by the way now is the perfect time to start caring for YOU) There are so many factors that have gotten you to where you are.  If you are happy with yourself, fantastic!  If you'd like to set some improvements for yourself,  Super!  If you feel you are loosing it, lets get you back on track! 

Be honest with yourself.  Set true and realistic expectations of yourself and make a plan to get you where you hope to be. 

First speak positively to yourself.  Give yourself credit where credit is due.  Did you rest when your body needed it?  Did you get up and walk when you could have drove?  Did you choose veggies instead of fries?    Write it down!  Write down 3 things that you are proud you achieved today. Now write down 3 reasons why you want to take care of yourself.  Do you want more energy?  Do you want to live long?  Do you want to grow a healthy baby?  Both of these 3 things can be the same thing every day.  This is YOUR personal journey.  I have included this sheet to help you start.

Journal.  Because pregnancy can put many 'what ifs' on your plate, why not set your plate up for success?!  Journaling your food intake can put hard evidence into perspective.  Eating well is always an option!  I love using My Fitness Pal to journal my food intake. 

Speak to someone.  Did you know they have Dieticians at 811?(free phone call in BC) Have a partner.  Someone you can text/email/speak to daily.  Tell them your struggles, tell them your joys. 

If you need any other helpful tips, You can always contact me!  I enjoy giving referrals to those in our community that have also helped me personally