Multi Task Birth?
After my second was born I definitely figured I had everything down pat… I could breastfeed while Hiking, I could talk on the phone and prepare a meal. (don’t ask about the time I charred everything in the BBQ when I was pouring my soul out to a girlfriend) I could even change a diaper, while pulling clothes out of the drawer with my foot, and scream to the other room for my kids to clean up their toys.
I can really see how I started to live a lie that I could get it all done and done well. Motherhood is where I began my multitasking life, for some of you it may be at work or your household.
*Grabbing a coffee while having a conference call.
*Cleaning up your desk while listening to a webinar.
*Writing an email, while having the Netflix on.
We think we are accomplishing more, when in fact we are accomplishing something, and those somethings aren’t even done very well.
*We spill our coffee and now are worried about our outfit and forget listening to whoever is talking.
*We find a photo in our desk that we thought was lost and are now reminiscing about all the memories. Webinar? What webinar?
*Our email takes 3x as long to write because we keep getting caught up in This Is Life.
You see, multitasking doesn’t work. We do a poor job, we feel stressed that we are running out of time or we feel guilty for not focusing on what our main tasks was. We constantly feel behind, like we didn’t do enough, and we start over doing it all again tomorrow.
Now, you are probably say, “Ya, Michelle… good for you, do you know that I have the boss coming in, I have my kids peeing their pants or I have this report due in 2 days”
I have been reading The One Thing from Gary Keller here is what he has to say on Multi tasking:
1. There is only so much brain capability at any one time.
2. The more time you have switched to another task the less likely you are to get back to your original task.
3. Bounce between one activity and another and you lose time as your brain reorients to the new task.
4. Chronic multitaskers have a distorted sense of how long it takes to do things. (They often estimate longer than what is needed)
5. Multitaskers make more mistakes than non-multitaskers. They often make poorer decisions because they favour new information over old. Even if the old information is more valuable.
6. Multitaskers experience more life reducing, happiness-squelching stress.
So how does this relate to your birth?
For most of us, our main goal is to birth our baby the way we choose. We want to be respected, safe and have the most amazing experience so we can look back on this day with love and joy.
Think about it, if you are planning a hospital birth, are you really given the chance to focus on only ONE THING?
We enter with bright lights, people asking us questions while we are having sensations. We worry about our cervical exam and if we are in active birthing. We get interrupted to have our blood pressure taken. We have people telling us ‘that looks really hard, would you like your epidural yet?” We hear the beeping of our baby’s heart rate. We notice nurses coming in and looking at the paper work before introducing themselves and talking to us. Our partner looks a little spaced out. The door keeps opening and bright light keeps coming in. We hear another woman down the hall moaning. We worry about what is being whispered behind the curtain. And so on and so on and so on. We may get 5 minutes to focus on our birth, before someone tells us to change positions or asks us a question.
Can you tell me how we are going to focus on the one thing that is the MOST IMPORTANT thing at the moment? I’ll remind you, that it’s birthing your baby.
You see when we keep getting interrupted, we keep losing our insight to what is important and the one thing we are doing. Our body gets confused, our mind isn’t focused and we aren’t making choices that align with what we desire. It’s the beginning of the down fall of our birth plan.
Some say that the first intervention in your birth is walking out of your front door. It’s the time we start trying to multitask with what we are doing against all the other things we are doing.
What would it mean to be focused ONLY on birthing your baby.
It would mean that you get to feel your body work the way it wants. You get to connect with yourself in a way that will only happen during birth. You will push yourself to the limits, knowing that you can climb that mountain. You will know that your experience matters as much as having a healthy baby. And you understand that in this timeless moment in our lives, time does not exist and nothing else matters.
So how do we get there?
We build a team that BELIEVES IN YOUR WAY OF BIRTH! They push you just a little further to trust yourself. They share with you interventions, and alternatives, while you are still pregnant. They HEAR YOU. They converse with you as your vision of birth WILL happen… because that is what you want, and that is what they are professionals in. They share the same values, and beliefs in birth. They create space for you to be the most powerful you, for you to connect with your partner, and for you to connect to the deepest most primal part of yourself… all this while transcending into motherhood.
Who might your team consist of?
Your partner. Your care provider. Your chiropractor. Your spiritual guide. Your Doula. Your coach. Your best friend… and many more. If EACH ONE of these people believe in the birth you choose, then you have a high chance of having your baby safely, confidently and start your days as a mother wildly ecstatic, in love, and indulging in others caring for you. If ANYONE on your team does not align with your desires, and you are not willing to address that, then you risk, defeat, self-doubt, surgery, interventions, and lies.
Birth is not the place to multi task. Focus on one thing that is important and do that. In your life, and during your birth <3
And if you think you are heading down the path of having a birth you don’t want, or are going to be doing too much, PM me and we can take a look together and change the path of your birthing time.
Multi Task Birth?